you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
