We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need to calm my uterus...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
