i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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