Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My dick has a subreddit
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
