i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
