In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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