my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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