Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
