I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
