What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
