How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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