Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your penis caused this!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
