you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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