I just made out with a guy for $7.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
