I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
