there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Houston, we have a blender
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
