No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
