Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
