The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
