why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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