After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
