I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
