There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
