He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
