Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
