i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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