We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
