So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
