the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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