There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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