sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
