what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
