there was a trapeze. enough said
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
