Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
