I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
