Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
