It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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