I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
