Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
