so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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