I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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