Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
