What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
