imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
