how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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