My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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