You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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