In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
