Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
