i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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