this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
