I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
